January 7th, 2025. If I had known how the day would end, I would have dressed better as I headed out the door for my morning coffee with a friend in Venice Beach.
By nightfall, my husband, Iain Paterson, and I had lost everything. Fires swept through the entire community of Pacific Palisades with terrifying speed, consuming 32 years of a carefully curated life in a matter of hours. We got out with only our passports and the clothes on our backs.
We were, of course, not alone—nearly 6,000 homes were destroyed in those harrowing few days. Time slipped sideways. A friend found us a short-term furnished rental and we began the numbing motions of insurance claims. We have all watched natural disasters on the news and thought, “Oh, those poor people.” Now we were those people. Frankly, it was a clarifying, if bitter lesson. We Are Always All People.
As we regained some of our balance, we turned to the things that we knew we needed. The 4 F’s you could say: Family, Friends, Familiarity—and France. My husband’s family has deep roots in Monaco, and over the years we have travelled extensively throughout the country. We set off for nearly the entire month of May.
Familiarity and Family: Paris and Monaco
From LA, we flew to Paris. This began the familiar. I started traveling to Paris decades ago, when I worked in fashion, and my husband’s parents had lived in the city at one time. So when we met, it was only natural that travel to Paris would become something we would do together. On this trip, we wandered our favorite areas of St Germain and Le Marais, ate in our favorite restaurants—including Le Bon Georges, which we never skip—and saw dear friends at Supersonic Medieval, a stunning exhibition of London-based artist Marianna Kennedy’s works at Christie’s Paris. At the Foundation Louis Vuitton, the David Hockney exhibition was pure joy, despite the crowds. His unflinching use of color and exploration of new mediums always inspire. But this time, they struck a deeper chord, with the memory of seeing our property and entire community, once awash in Hockney-esque hues, reduced to a palette of ash still vivid in our minds. The early pool paintings, illustrating the sharp, flat California light and cerulean blues, were poignant reminders of our changed circumstances.
From Paris, we flew south to Monaco. This would be family time. Lunches out at our regular haunts—an easy seaside meal in Villefranche-sur Mer at La Mère Germaine. Early AM walks along a weaving coastal path from Fontvieille to Beaulieu-sur-Mer and is known almost exclusively to locals. Aperitifs on the terrace as we watched the boats come and go. Maybe a trip into the center for a mille-feuille at Café de Paris. These small rituals pulled us back into ourselves. Perhaps not forgetting what we had been through, but pushing those thoughts to the back shelf of our hearts and minds. Distraction and familiarity are wonderful balms. The body softens.
Slow Explorations From Bordeaux to Martillac
In the past, we’d rented houses in the South of France. This time we wanted to explore Bordeaux. We picked up a rental car and headed to Saint Émilion. Friends who own Blankiet Estates in Napa had recommended Logis de la Cadène—the oldest restaurant in the village, founded in 1848. The adjoining small hotel had recently been renovated, each room named for a local vintage.
Our room on the top floor was charming, and nicely appointed with a lovely bathtub, but it was tiny—Lilliputian came to mind. The hotel isn’t for everyone: it sits on a steep cobbled street that requires sure footing (or perhaps a sherpa). But the restaurant more than redeemed the climb. Dinner was extraordinary, free of the pretension that often accompanies Michelin-starred meals. We are not fans of tasting menus, but chef Thibaut Gamba and his team delivered a parade of thoughtful, complex dishes that let the freshest of ingredients shine without theatrics—like a raw local mushroom dish on a purée of lightly cooked ones that deserved its own star. We went into the kitchen afterward to thank the team and were warmly greeted by the chef, who showed us around.
The next morning we headed further south to the Martillac region, 20 minutes south of Bordeaux. At this point, 10 days into our travels, we generally crave being in a home with a garden and having quiet evenings over simple, light meals. Our rental house, found on Airbnb, was modern and perfect. A lovely garden overlooking fields, a well-equipped kitchen. We took day trips into the city, which was stunning, but our souls required the spring greens of the countryside, so lots of off-roading was in order.
We explored the coastal region and spent a beautiful day in Arcachon, which has the most amazing beaches ever. It was market day, where tables groaned with melons, charcuterie and seasonal white asparagus. Another day, we headed further south to explore the small town of Cadillac-sur Garonne—perhaps best known for the Chateau Ducal de Cadillac built in the 17th century, which housed female prisoners from 1820 to 1952. From Cadillac, we continued a bit further south to the village of Saint-Macaire, where we found a lovely tiny restaurant, Le Caboulot. The chef makes their own pastry, which resulted in a memorable asparagus quiche. Later, we wandered the village and sat in silence before Romanesque frescoes from the 14th century in the Église de Saint Sauveur et Saint Martin. I frequently meditate in churches when we travel, as they are the perfect places to sit in and reflect on what is real for oneself in that present moment. What was real for me that day was sadness; however, this reality was starting to soften now and then, replaced in equal measure with wonder and gratitude.
Our days took on the familiar rhythm that we always find when traveling. Exploring villages and small towns, stopping at flea markets, always at any church or at one of the French supermarkets, Carrefour or LeClerc, where one marvels at the wine prices and the range of condiments. We ate lunch out on most days—sometimes we found a good spot in a village and sometimes it was just a jambon fromage from the local boulangerie. Each day, we returned to the garden to have a cocktail—a Negroni for Iain and something with mezcal for me—as we planned the next day.
Our rental was a short stroll from the incredible Les Sources de Caudalie Spa and Hotel. This establishment is on the grounds of the Chateau Smith Haut-Lafitte vineyard. Sculptures dot the grounds, and a sense of playfulness pervades the property—in its architecture (the entrance to a room on the pond was a gypsy caravan!), the directional signs, and even the colorful uniforms of the reception team. Sadly, we visited between mealtimes so we did not get to experience either of their two restaurants, but we sat for a lovely coffee on the terrace and vowed to stay there on our next trip.
A Path Forward in Nouvelle Aquitaine
After 12 days in Martillac, we made our way further north into Nouvelle Aquitaine, as I had located what appeared to be the perfect gite on the Chateau Puynard vineyard in Berson. Our next French home, playfully called Petite Puy, was a jewel of a guest house that had been thoughtfully renovated with a decorator’s eye. A round soaking tub and a beautiful bottle of the Chateau’s wine welcomed us. A narrow plunge pool sparkled outside. Sadly, the weather turned chilly with a bit of rain for our brief stay, but we fell in love with the area of rolling hills and its proximity to the coast.
We explored the nearby town of Blaye, on the southern tip of the Gironde estuary and its stunning 12th century citadelle, part of a trio of fortifications that includes Fort Medoc and Forte Pate. After exploring the vast grounds, we lunched at La Gavroche, a bistro across the street with perfect daily specials and wine selection.
One morning, we tracked down the bakery in Bourg, Boulangerie Grandjean, that won the Best Brioche in Gironde in 2022. While the bakery was closed, it led us to Jeroboam 120, a lovely restaurant overlooking the Gironde. I don’t remember the full meal, but it surely started with white asparagus.
This was how we found a path forward. Time spent exploring country roads, stopping for coffee or snacks, inspecting shops, sitting in churches to meditate, allowed our minds to settle. We know how to travel. What we did not know was where to start in the process of creating a new home. With the walls and roof obviously… but how ?
We did not buy a single item on our travels. You cannot just replace the carefully selected art, the books, and all the beautiful things that make a home unique. Over the past 17-plus years, we have often spent 8 months or longer on location, while Iain produced TV drama series—Bogota, Colombia to Santa Fe, NYC, Atlanta…. Many treasures would return home with us—artwork, glass or China, antique Christmas ornaments, and always books. I do not feel we are defined by our home so much as we are supported by it, both physically and mentally. So there was always a bit of longing each time we were in a lovely surrounding and thinking, “That would be lovely to put in the study.”
A Restorative Farm in Burgundy
From Berson, we started a slow back-road journey north through the Burgundy region, towards our final destination of Zurich, to reconnect with dear friends. In choosing our routes we tried to stay off the main highways, and I researched Relais & Châteaux hotels that matched our direction. Family-run establishments have never disappointed us in the past.
We had a magnificent day driving through the Burgundy countryside, a brief visit to Beaune for a coffee and of course a visit to the Cathedral before arriving at Domaine de Rymska in Saint-Jean de Trezy. A former hunting lodge built in the 1900s, it was lovingly transformed by Eric Feurtet, who also began breeding thoroughbred racehorses while renovating the property. He turned the 200 acres into a working farm, a superb hotel, spa and restaurant. We were welcomed by four new foals racing beside their mothers in a lower paddock and ducks waddling freely from one pond to another. The vast grounds hold fishing ponds, prize-winning Wagyu beef, sheep, geese, quail, pigs and chickens, all surrounded by tranquil meandering farm roads to hike at any hour. The setting was truly restorative. The staff were gracious, the food beautifully prepared with a varied seasonal menu, and we loved our morning walks to inspect newborns and the trophy wall in the immaculate barns.
A Delightful Discovery in the Jura
We pressed north, again following off roads, stopping for coffee and snacks and to explore the Royal Salt Works at Arc-et-Senans. An impressive complex commissioned by Louis XVI and designed by Claude-Nicholas Ledoux, the wood from the surrounding forests provided the power to boil the brine to make this precious commodity. Thanks to our GPS, we found ourselves on a narrow active logging road with huge downed trees stacked up along the edges. It wove for miles in and around canals towards our next stop, Chateau de Germigney in the Jura region.
Located in Port-Lesney between Lons-le-Saunier and Besançon, this was perhaps our favorite hotel stay of our entire trip. A former 18th century hunting lodge for the Marquis de Germigney, it consists of 28 rooms and suites, extensive grounds, a lovely pool and superb Caudalie spa. The interiors were playful, with a surprising with a mix of open, modern, and new, alongside classic and cozy. We both had magnificent treatments, a massage for Iain and facial for me. Their restaurant stands on par with Logis de Cadène. I had a morel mushroom dish foraged from the area that I still dream about. The superb sommelier introduced us to stellar wines from the region, specifically a 2022 bottle of white from Frederic Lornet, a producer in the Arbois appellation.
Zurich was just a short drive away and as the traffic picked up, so did our tension. We were not returning home, just back to a temporary rental that we have not attempted to make our own. A sadness descended on both of us. At this point in our lives, our home had been carefully curated. And as we reflected on how the interior and our possessions defined who we were, perhaps there was some realization that the very foundation of that home was more than the physical. The home was filled with conversations, hopes and dreams. We did not lose ourselves; we just lost the foundation of bricks and mortar. Amidst the rumination, we had one more joyous meeting ahead: meeting dear friends at the Kronenhalle Bar for perfect martinis, followed by a classic Italian meal at Ristorante Conti.
Destination Unknown
On the flight back to LA the next morning, we came to some decisions. First, we will try to spend more time each year in France, a place that feels familiar and easeful in a way that LA no longer does.
On a more personal note, I’ve resolved to wear what I buy. My closet once held fabulous things—archival Margiela and special pieces, some never worn but saved for “good;” a Prada bag bought in Italy last year that still haunts me, unused. No more. I’ll stop reaching for jeans. And finally, in the fall, we will leave LA for good. Trying to re-create our life in the city we know too well feels like stagnation. The shock of what we lost demanded movement.
There is a teaching in Buddhism: Begin Again. One breath starts as the last one ends. It’s not about forgetting what came before, but honoring it—building from it. So with care and intention, we will begin again. Exactly where, we don’t yet know.
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